Their profile pictures looks professionally done, and may be found on a modelling website 
such as

They claim to have blonde hair and blues eyes, but the picture shows dark hair and brown eyes, or vice versa. 

They claim to be older/younger than the photo looks.

They claim to be Native American, or some other ethnicity when the photo is Caucasian. 

They claim to be from the US (or your local region) but they are overseas, or going overseas, often to Nigeria, sometimes to the UK for business or family matters. 

They have usernames containing “4real” or “4luv”.

Their first names are often plural, or what we would consider a last name such as Martins, Williams, Kevins, etc, or they are mis-spelled like Micheal.

Their profile disappears from the dating website immediately after your conversation begins, and they will often ask you to remove yours.


Their spelling and grammar are poor.

They do not understand verb tenses and will say things like “I will like to ….”

They use lower case “i” instead of capital “I”.

They use abbreviations such as   u  r  ur   cos  pls/plz  ma  sry  brb

They do not understand idioms such as night owl, early bird, poker face, rock the boat, sick as a dog, etc


They use pet names such as hon/hun baby/babe, angel, sweety or sweetie.

They over-use emoticons.

They ignore personal questions about themselves.

They ask you to get on your webcam, but they don’t have a webcam of their own, or it isn’t working. 

They believe it was God who brought you together.

They claim to love you either immediately, or very shortly after making contact.

They send poems or love letters, most of which can be traced to the internet.

They immediately want to get off the dating website and onto Yahoo IM or MSN IM.

They ask for your phone number, but when they call, they have a very heavy accent.

They may give you a phone number, but it is usually a calling card or a call centre.  You can rarely get them on the phone. 

They do not know common questions that every American would know.

They often mis-spell the city or town they claim to be from, and are unfamiliar with any of the local landmarks or attractions.

If you ask a question they don’t know, they will go offline until they can find the answer on the internet, claiming they had a phone call, or had to go to the bathroom.

There may be times when they are gone from the conversation for a length of time, and will then come back to you with a different name.  This is when they are conversing with more than one person at a time and they get confused.

They may claim to have one parent that is of African descent.

They often do not know the correct time difference between where you are, and where they claim to be.

The details they give you on IM are often different that what was stated on their profile such as birthdate, height, weight, and age.

If you catch them on an inconsistency they will claim a friend, room mate or relative must have been using their computer to chat with you.

The Scam

Many claim to have lost a spouse/child/parent who has been in an accident, or they are sick or in the hospital.

Some claim they are in the hospital and the doctor will not perform the operation unless you send money.

Others claim to be supporting an orphanage and paying for children to have operations.

They may claim they have been mugged and have no money, and are being held hostage in the hotel and are not being allowed to leave until the bill is paid.  Often they will let you talk to the “hotel manager”, who will verify the story.  

They want your address to send you flowers, candy, and teddy bears (often purchased with stolen credit cards)

They are in love with you BUT they need you to send money so they can come to you. 

They may want you to forward letters or packages to someone in Africa, or sometimes another US address.

They may ask you to open an account for them in your name, often through Wells Fargo, or they will ask you for your account information. 

They may send you a cheque or money order, and ask you to cash it for them, and wire the money to them via Western Union.

They may ask you to send them cell phones and laptops.

There is always some desperate story as to why you have to send money.  If you say no, or question them, they become verbally abusive and may resort to threats.  

They have no close family, friend or business associates to turn to, even the US embassy.  Instead they can only rely on a stranger on the internet.

Love equals financial assistance.  If you do not send them money or help them, you do not love them.

Note Some of these men claim to be lesbians.   Some are straight and preying, especially on old, lonely gay men!  They will be whomever you need them to be.